Fox News is never on anymore. After my grandpa passed in March, my grandma refuses to watch anything but local news. By the way, my grandpa really threw us a curveball on that one. We all expected him to live at least 30 years longer than our grandma. The big C, cancer, it's a bitch.
Since then, my grandma has slowly been reorganizing the house to better fit her needs. This particular task was moving the stand-alone Maytag Frigidaire Freezer, similar to this one, from downstairs to the garage.
My grandma took pity on me and asked a couple neighbors to assist me in this production. The first to arrive to help was a gentlemen in his early 50's. We shook hands and went downstairs to evaluate the situation.
"Jesus, holy Christ" was his initial response after seeing the freezer. He walks over to the little two-wheeler that my grandma supplied us with to take it up the stairs.
"Yeah, that's what she wants us to use" I said with a smirk.
"Ha, no we're not." Luckily, the other neighbor had just arrived with an industrial two-wheeler that looked like a better fit for the job.
One of them opened the freezer to see that it was full of food as I said, "She thought we could just move it with the food in it."
They both chuckled and said "nope" and went to find laundry baskets to fill with frozen food.
As we started emptying it out, we pulled out food dating back to the late 80's. I fully expected this, having emptied the freezer before. These two neighbors thought that my grandma was insane...which, come to think of it, may not be too far from the truth.
"Gloria, you've got 14 year old shredded cheese down here!" one of them yelled up to my grandma only to hear her reply with,
"Just leave it in there and I'll go through that later!"
Bringing our voices down, we all muttered things like "she's never going to throw that out" and "that's staying in there forever" amongst ourselves.
After emptying it, we shimmied it onto the two-wheeler and noisily wheeled it up the stairs, out the front door, and into the garage.
After the neighbors left I still had the task of putting the food back in the freezer. All the frozen vegetables on one shelf with all the frozen bread, pie crusts, and whipped cream on another (don't ask me how she accumulates so much whipped cream, it just happens). As I was putting all the frozen meats from every era on the last shelf, I looked specifically for the meat I found in this past post dating back to 1992. Much to my horror and panic, I couldn't find it. I doubt that she threw it out because I buried it at the back of the freezer. So only one of two things could've happened: I ate it in some beef stew variation, or it aged so much that it evolved into a living being and it is now living in basement furnace room.
Either way, I don't have to worry about it anymore as I don't live there anymore. Fox News will never be on again!
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